Let the flowers bloom.

I recently read this quote somewhere…

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

…and it hit me hard. The reality, the truth, the message, behind this simple quote is just so immense.

I could relate to it on such a different level and I believe a lot of us can.

We live in a world where society has these certain expectations from us. Expectations on what we become, expectations on how we talk, expectations on how we behave. Expectations on literally everything.

These expectations… they stop us, flowers, from blooming to our potential and we end up living our lives thinking we don’t have the potential to bloom more.

You know what’s sad though? It’s when your own people tell you that there’s probably some flaw in you that’s stopping your growth and that you must change yourself.

I will give you my example. I am a girl…(I think we all already know where this story is going) … and of course, like the “typical parental concern”, even my parents are concerned about me going out alone. (yes, you guessed it right) But, say the concern was about something happening to me, it would be fine. Understandable. But the concern is about what everyone else would say IF something was to happen to ME.

You think I am making this up? HAHA you wish. Even I wish I was making this up but I am not and this, my friend, is suffocating. Just thinking about it makes me feel suffocated.

Now, just because the environment is not right for me, why is it that I am the one who is being “fixed” and not the environment itself? Why is it that instead of letting me go out and either ignoring what everyone says or stopping them from talking bad about me, I am the one who is being told to restrain? Is it that hard to fight the society?

I really want to know.

Mom, dad, I really want to understand your point of view. Trust me, I do.

But I fail to do so. I am sorry.

Could you please try to change my environment instead? I promise you will watch me bloom to my fullest.

Let me grow. Let the flowers bloom.

 

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. True. Parents are sometimes overprotective for their children. Maybe it’s something we don’t understand until we are their place.

    Though too much of restrictions is bad too

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    1. Anonymous says:

      That’s true. Maybe I will one day and then I won’t blame them.

      Like

  2. K.A.L.T says:

    First, I just want to apologise in advance in case what I say upsets you in any way.

    Perhaps it’s simply because I do not go out often since I’m more of an indoor person but I don’t really see it as a problem. Using the quote to justify why you should be allowed to go out alone is a bit of a stretch. Especially since going out wouldn’t necessarily help you improve yourself as a person anyway (ok… perhaps independence?). It’s true that the environment can sometimes be changed to better nurture one’s ability. However, if the person themselves don’t make an effort either, nothing would change. Also, think about it, a person’s environment is much more difficult to change than a flower’s environment. At the same time, it is much easier for a person to change themselves than for a flower. Even if the changes are small and gradual.

    Just like others cannot force us to think or behave in a certain manner unless they have direct authority over us, we cannot force others to react the way we want either. I believe your parents were simply looking out for you, they did not want your life to become difficult. The pain of what happens to you in the moment will past, but the lingering effects could ruin your whole life. That is what they were worried about. The after-effects. The talking, the emotional pain that would continue. They know they will likely be unable to control how others react to whatever may happen to you. Thus, that is where they placed their emphasis. Although ultimately, I believe that their specific reasons don’t really matter. What matters is that they care about you and do not want you to get into anything that could give you pain. They do not want to take what they deem as unnecessary risks. I do not know whether your parents are the same, but I believe that as long as you can understand where your parents are coming from and can assure them that they need not worry by perphaps going with a group of friends, they will let you do what you want. Your parents do not mind comprimising, as long as it does not increase the risk of anything happening to you.

    Again, sorry if what I have said was unnecessary and insensitive coming from someone who doesn’t really even know or fully understand your situation…

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  3. Anonymous says:

    I appreciate your well thought out comment. Don’t worry, this blog is all about being yourself. I am myself when I am writing my blogs and I appreciate the fact that you were yourself when commenting.

    Coming back to what you said. I just want to make it clear that I wasn’t using the quote to justify me not being able to go out. That honestly wasn’t my point. What I wanted to get across was the fact that we are way too consumed on how our society reacts that we end up restricting ourselves or our loved ones from something we love to do. Of course my parents care for me and there is the concern of something bad happening to me that impacts their restrictions that they put on me, but what bothers me is the fact that what society may say is also one of the reasons that influence their decision. I have a great problem with society induced decisions. I fail to understand why we should think about everyone else more than what we think about ourselves. That quote is metaphorical and in no way am I trying to say we should do exactly what it says. I am talking about the deeper meaning to it.

    By the way, you cannot say that going out doesn’t improve a person because it certainly does. We are humans. we need that basic human interaction. Not the one that’s done while sitting behind a screen but the one where we take the risks, put our worries aside and accept the challenges and physically interact with others. Hear their point of view, present your own, see the world from their perspective, show them from yours. That’s how it should be. You can’t do all that while staying at home. I am not saying staying alone is a bad thing. No. Don’t get me wrong. I am in no way trying to attack who you are. If you like your own company, that’s amazing. Even if you are by yourself, just going out, looking around, observing others, it teaches you so much. The kind of lessons you neither get in school nor while staying home.

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